Safe Space with Tiny Diny

 Something I feel I have struggled with in my past is understanding how romantic relationships are supposed to be, I had an idea as a teenager but through various traumatic experiences I started to doubt myself. I began to believe that my ideas must all have been fantastical fairytales that don't truly exist. Now that I am older in my late 20s I am revisiting my beliefs on romance and conducting what I call a romance study. Naturally I don't want to experience a romance that fizzles out, I want to gain as much knowledge as I can on healthy relationships that last a lifetime so in my research I will be looking for all the key componants to an emotionally fullfilling romantic healthy life time lasting relationship. The first thing I have found myself coming across is touch, couples cuddling and the way in which they express their love for each other in this way. I can imagine the feelings of this type of touch, I am very good at imaging all my senses and it is very easy to feel t...

When talking about re-wiring your brain I speak in the term of learning, because essentially that is what is going on. When you re-wire your brain you are giving it new information to learn. Thus understanding your dominant learning styles is going to help you learn and perform much quicker and easier.  There are four main learning styles: Visual, Auditory, kinaesthetic and reading/writing.  Many people are a mixture of these four main learning styles however there are more lesser known learning styles that may be just as helpful to understand about yourself. Logical/analytical, social/linguistic, solo and nature learners are four examples of these lesser known learning styles. I myself already know I am a kinaesthetic and reading/writing learner but along side those I am a solo learner and logical/analytical learner, which is why I very often give representative synonyms when I am explaining concepts to other people. My brain logically analyses and connects things in this way...

 Your brain is a physical organ, and your thoughts are created with electrochemical signals from neurons along neural pathways.  Your brain is like a computer for storing and filing all of these thoughts where ever they come from. The brain compiles all these thoughts and creates a programme off of them. Just like this laptop is programmed to tell me when I misspell a word by putting a red wiggly line underneath it, your brain is programmed to signal all manner of different things based off your programme.  Which often is a pain and not at all helpful to us. This is when we need to go in and change the programme. Like this laptop is not always correct with its spellcheck (I double check with the dictionary sometimes and I can't figure out why the laptop is incorrect) sometimes our brain keeps signalling we are in danger when we are safe or that we are unworthy when we are not and so on.  To understand how to change the patterns in our brain that work against us lets ...

 Where does anxiety come from? Is it just brain chemicals? Are you just chemically unbalanced?  Yes and no. Anxiety is a state of fear and fear is necessary for our survival, it is one of the oldest instincts we have to  survive is to know the safety of our surroundings. When we are anxious it is because our fear is telling us that we are not safe and that we need to be alert to keep ourselves alive. Without that we would remain in dangerous situations and be vulnerable to keeping ourselves alive. Well that's all obvious and I'm sure you are already well aware of that but where does that fit into anxiety disorders and being anxious in perfectly safe situations? Are some people just born chemically unbalanced?  I don't believe that is the case though there is some controversy around the topic of nature vs nurture on this subject. Whilst I do agree that your genetics (nature) have a part to play in how you may develop certain disorders, I believe it is the environment ...

 You've probably heard this before many times, but just let it go! Except, how do you actually do that? How do you just let things go? Especially things that really really hurt you!  You can't force yourself to let go, that would be like telling a child to just grow up, they can't force themselves to grow any faster, but simultaneously there are times when you need to know when the child is just acting less grown with a firm but fair attitude. It's a difficult balance, and the same is with yourself. You have to be able to know when you are genuinely still processing something and when you are just moping for the sake of it. Usually if you are just moping for the sake of it there is some other underlying reason connected to something completely different compared to when you really are just still processing an experience.  Like a child if they are acting up for the sake of it they are actually trying to give you a message about something else but they don't know how ...

 Some times figuring out why you aren't able to function is like a confusing tangle of knots. There's so many things in the way and trying to find the end seems impossible. Instead of trying to constantly undo the big knot in the middle it's better to just keep undoing each smaller knot as we get to them.  Our minds are incredible but not always easy to understand, it gives us clues to what the current problem we need to solve is, but it isn't always crystal clear what it means. For years I would make pancakes as a way to show my love to people in my life. I didn't realise what it was I was trying to really do at the time, I just thought it was normal to make your partner pancakes in bed, I thought that it would help them to feel better. I never really understood why they would reject my pancakes. As I approached the weekend I kept hearing a voice call out 'pancakes' in my mind and once again I didn't really understand why. I didn't actually feel lik...